Day 2 of 21
Locked gate, Mo’omomi cove
It wasn’t, really. I could not figure out how to open it (nor could my photo workshop companion, Paul). We pried, tried, used a rock to tap it, finally concluded it was corroded from the salt air and there must be another entry along the fence line to get us through to the beckoning shoreline. So we explored, walking carefully in the fragile ecosystem, to no avail.
The yearning was there, the path obscure, the easy open door, corroded and stuck shut.
How often are we too like this in our gaps—we need different skills. Stay curious, ask for assistance, be willing to receive help.
The receive help (or ask!) is a tough one for me that I am #disrupting. My hide has become toughened over the years of living alone in the woods. Life itself though, through my desire and inner impulse, is teaching me, revealing how much hidden support exists, reveals for every one of us if we show up, take responsibility, name what we think we need, in a specific context.
Turns out, this gate was the entry and did open, though I don’t recall the trick. It was the right path, the best way through. Trust.
In this 21-day disrupt project, an hour a day, I’m already experiencing what appears to be a stuck opening—in me. I’ll discover, as I go, and document here, that I don’t have the answers, I’m living this alive, now, in real time.
I know a wise man once said, seek and you shall find, knock and the door will be opened. The words of poet David Whyte rise in me tonight:
Start Close In
by David Whyte
Start close in,
don’t take the second step
or the third,
start with the first
thing
close in,
the step
you don’t want to take.
Start with
the ground
you know,
the pale ground
beneath your feet,
your own
way to begin
the conversation.
Start with your own
question,
give up on other
people’s questions,
don’t let them
smother something
simple.
To hear
another’s voice,
follow
your own voice,
wait until
that voice
becomes an
intimate
private ear
that can
really listen
to another.
Start right now
take a small step
you can call your own
don’t follow
someone else’s
heroics, be humble
and focused,
start close in,
don’t mistake
that other
for your own.
Start close in,
don’t take
the second step
or the third,
start with the first
thing
close in,
the step
you don’t want to take.
–David Whyte, River Flow: New & Selected Poems, Many Rivers Press
Rain pours outdoors, the woodstove heats my cozy home for the second night in months, two wild turkeys roost safe in the spruce trees, and dogs are asleep nearly. I’ve talked to several friends today, starting close in, with the basics.
photo: Spot in the rock. Be still. See. Then maybe, if it’s the best action, disrupt.
