At Papohaku Beach in March 2018, I took a mistaken path departing the beach. The further I walked, although I was entranced with the beauty and rippling with bliss from the day, it became more and more unfamiliar. I was likely on the wrong route to the road and my friend with the ride. Beauty surrounded me, so I paused to admire where I was, discover my bearings, and readjust. Off to my left, I sensed something, and looked closely. Blending into the tree trunks, two men stood, unmoving, coated in camouflage, binoculars hanging from their neck, rifle tips pointed toward treetops nested into their right shoulders. Instantly I absorbed this sight. My heartbeat skipped. They watched me, unmoving. I casually adjusted my pack, unsettled, turning to trace my steps back to the beach, and begin again.
It was late afternoon, rippling shadows and streaming sunlight. I can only suspect I’d disrupted their hunt, I was not the prey, and they remained stationed for wild boar, or axis deer. I later wondered, did I enter a wardrobe and find myself in Narnia, or some Tolkien woodland? Fifteen minutes later I would discover when I connected with my friend, that an hour earlier she had walked right past me on the beach, and not seen me where I was seated, leaning against a rock to face the surf, one of the few people for miles.
I think of the ways we traverse life, eyes wide open, or hidden, camouflaged, observing, or on a hunt for this or that. In both, we can be lost and found.
We send signals, and interpret others. This morning, I recall Paula D’Arcy—author, mentor, friend, and the woman who introduced me to Molokai—standing in a ballroom at WomenSpeak, sharing opening remarks at an international gathering of women in San Antonio, Texas. In 2007 she said, You are not attending a conference, you are attending your life. How we show up, to ourselves, and others, is significant.
reflect
Are you a chameleon, or do you allow yourself to be fully visible in relationships, friendships, your workplace, with your partner, to yourself? Are there aspects of you that you hide from others, or protect from shame, or vulnerability? What do you keep hidden? What allows you to feel safe and uplevel your presence with others? What motivates you and the signals you send and receive?
These are worthy ponderings as we each tend to the here and now of life and present time. This is not a rehearsal. Now is real.
