Hello!

Hello!

Hello is becoming a generous, living prayer in me. Waking up to the present time in order to be a welcoming presence to myself and others is an act of hospitality, and at times, a bumpy path of mystery and emergence. My son died nearly ten years ago, when he was sixteen years old. That spring, a few months after he died, he visited me in a dream. It was vivid; I recall it easily.

In the dream, I stood in my kitchen, and suddenly he was walking through the door from the circular entry way. My heart leapt with joy and I cried out his name, “Justin!” But he looked gaunt and bruised; not my vibrant teenage son. Four or five people accompanied him. They were silent, appeared kind, and stood at a respectful distance. Justin was serious, said he wanted to talk to me. We walked into the living room, and sat down. He explained he was here because he could answer one question. I could ask any question I wanted, but only one. For the rest of my life.

I tossed and turned for hours that night, waking up, then back into the dream again. I consciously knew I had to get the question right. The immediacy of asking why he had died by suicide wasn’t the question, nor were a dozen others I thought about. I wrestled with the weight of his greeting and invitation. Finally, I knew what I wanted to ask. In my dream, I walked back into the living room where he was seated on our leather sofa. I looked him in the eyes, and asked, “What do you want me to know?”

The question I asked opened a door to a hello, an exchange, which continues, even today. Open-ended, I became the student, the one who could learn, be curious, and stand at borders I couldn’t yet comprehend. Open-ended, the conversation continues, and ripples into all my relationships. When I greet someone, I wonder, “Who are you?, What do you want me to know?” In a video interview with Spiritual Directors International for the SDI Learns From … series, Krista Tippett, host of the On-Being radio show, said, “Questions elicit answers in their likeness. We can ask questions and create spaces that lead to redemptive life-giving exchanges, and the responsibility is on the part of the listener, even before the listening begins. An openhearted question elicits an openhearted response.” Tippett goes on to explain, “Listening is a way of honoring someone.”

The intention and decision to listen, pay attention, greet ourselves, the world we inhabit–including friends, strangers, family members, coworkers, neighbors, men, women and children on the periphery of our comfort zone, even someone who is unkind and prickly, critters and landscapes, and perhaps even the Holy One or a higher power with a generous “hello” can be transformative. A spiritual guide will greet us with a “hello,” which inherently invites the generous question, “What do you want me to know?” Together, in this welcoming presence, you and I can experience honesty, mystery, forgiveness, hope, and possibility. We become courageous and trust vulnerability. Peace, harmony, and kindness toward ourselves and each other grows.

—Pegge Erkeneff, 2015
Listen: A Seeker’s Resource for Spiritual Direction, January 2016, 10.1

Links
Field Guide: Five Minute Practice of Presence, page 3
Field Notes: What is evoked in you when you experience a genuine hello? It could be a hello you offer, or receive… read responses on page 4 and 5

Reprinted from Listen: A Seeker’s Resource for Spiritual Direction, January 2016, Vol. 10, Issue 1 (Spiritual Directors International © 2015). Reprinted with permission of Spiritual Directors International. To order copies or a free subscription of Listen, call 1-425-455-4506 or go to www.sdiworld.org